A young man is waitering at a restaurant. It is nearing the end of the night, and few customers are left. After clearing the table for an elderly woman, he suddenly feels something press against his butt. He turns and spots the only possible culprit. Disgusted, and unable to control his reflexes, he slaps the woman hard across the face. He immediately feels guilty as he sees the elderly woman cover her face in silent agony. Replacing his guilt is a surge of indignance; he absently moves his hand to where she had touched him...
Wow isn't THIS guy a dick. And a bit of a sissy. And hitting an old lady. Shame on him! Violence against women, and the elderly too?! Send him to jail!
Hmm wait let's try something...
A young woman is waitressing at a restaurant. It is nearing the end of the night, and few customers are left. After clearing the table for an elderly man, she suddenly feels something press against her butt. She turns and spots the only possible culprit. Disgusted, and unable to control her reflexes, she slaps the man hard across the face. She immediately feels guilty as she sees the man cover his face in silent agony. Replacing her guilt is a surge of indignance; she absently moved her hand to where he had touched her...
Aww that CREEP. She should've punched him harder! What a cheap excuse to cop a feel! Send him to jail!
Now here's the good part: until you can forgive the male protagonist as quickly and readily as you forgave the female protagonist, you don't believe in equal rights. Yes I typed all of that to prove a point that may not even be true. So tell me; Who supported the male protagonist in the first story? Or alternatively, who condemned the actions of the female protagonist in the second story?
By the way, here's the ending to both stories:
...And found a $20 dollar tip stuck into the back pocket.Why did I not think of something awesome like this for my creative.
11 comments:
BAHHAHAHHAHA I LOVE THIS LOL
i supported the male protagonist in the first
seeing as i hit tree back a few times a week
that's not too hard to believe ;D
TREE IS NOT AN OLD LADY. OR AT LEAST NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE.
But fair enough haha
Wow at first I thought this was one of those copy+paste and spread the word things because if it were, it would be really super effective in making you think about your own values and attitudes.
On second reading, I realised I sympathised with the character the way the story was written for the reader to react i.e. I was on the waiter/waitress' side. Maybe it's got something to do with perspective even though it's in third person.
On third reading... I realised you screwed up the tenses >.> good job (Y).
>he suddenly feels something press firmly against his butt
for some reason i expected the next line to mention 'erection' and 'the old woman is actually a man'
also, what if it was:
A young man was waitering at a restaurant. It was nearing the end of the night, and few customers were left. After clearing the table for an elderly man, he suddenly feels something press firmly against his butt. Pivoting, he spotted the man's hand retreating from his behind. Disgusted, and unable to control his reflexes, he slaps the man hard across the face. He immediately feels guilty as he sees the man cover his face in silent agony. Replacing his guilt was a surge of indignance; he absently moved his hand to where he had fondled him...
OR
A young woman was waitressing at a restaurant. It was nearing the end of the night, and few customers were left. After clearing the table for an elderly woman, she suddenly feels something press firmly against her butt. Pivoting, she spotted the woman's hand retreating from her behind. Disgusted, and unable to control her reflexes, she slaps the woman hard across the face. She immediately feels guilty as she sees the woman cover her face in silent agony. Replacing her guilt was a surge of indignance; she absently moved her hand to where she had fondled her...
does the male get more support now? does the female get more condemned now? :P
oh and oops forgot to actually answer your question.
i sympathised with the waiter/waitress. the old man/woman deserved that slap
On first reading I was like "dude that woman is a creep" and sympathized with the waiter
nicely written though :D
@anon who varied the story
Yes, the point of this is to prove that is true as well. But the post gets too unwieldy if i do a female-female and a male-male story.
And dammit i need to finetune the creepiness vs reaction balance, so that the genders truly play a role D:
@shelley
thanks shelley =D I will aim to make this story perfectly balanced (with my 9/15 creative story mark LOL)
i sympathised with the waiter - the elderly woman seemed very creepy
and the ending is awesome.
HAHA I love this story!!!! And I agree with the equal rights thing :) I'd probably support first male protagonist
but its harder to sympathise with the male protagonist because the chick who touched him was ELDERLY. age comes into it too.
but yeah, youre right.
although we like to say YAY WE SO EQUAL.
theres still stereotypes ingrained.
plus LOL love your ending
They patrons are an elderly woman and an elderly man respectively. The woman hits an old man too.
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