I don't think I am currently in this phase. I should log the days I'm being creative, contemplative, etc. I bet it's some sort of calendar.
12) The reasons behind my last breakup
If she's not happy then I'm not happy.
13) What I did yesterday
> Woke up late. Rushed to school to get to stage band. Got two new songs - one with gay rhythm and one with gay chords. Happy times for me!
> In Chemistry I forgot to bring my laptop so just chilled with my table. Reinstated the drinking game for "careful attention" and "lots of people talking"
> In Physics I was reading the textbook and feeling knowledgeable as he seemed to ask questions just as I read it on the textbook. I am now Cosmic Engine Mastah.
> Organised AFX stuff at recess
> Caught up by 2 sheets in Maths. Accomplishment of the period.
> Lunchtime was spent discussing stuff. Got 3-on-3 soccer started. EVERYBODY WHO READS THIS BETTER MAKE A TEAM ALRIGHT?
> Advanced English was messed up because the only person that knew what we were doing was Tom. And trust Tom to tell us that we needed to bring stuff to make a poster out of =D
> Spent 3U pretending to work. It was fruitful.
> After school I chilled a lot and maybe read something. Fuck I waste time so well these days. Now that was extremely detailed :L
14) What my greatest achievements are
Getting into James Ruse and meeting the people there, of course 8D
Working my way from 10MTS to 11MT3 (that's pretty good for me, okay xP)
I like guitar even though I haven't accomplished anything LOL
Cadets in general
Coming 2nd at State 4x100m Relay (14 boys). Comes with a fine and dandy medal =)
15) A description of the person I dislike the most
Ooft I don't know. But hey, the rages under "Society" must've been inspired by someone. Could that lucky person be you? 8D
Off of the survey, onto the post!
Have guys (as in boys, males) ever
a) Considered what it might be like marrying the girl you're going out with
b) Thought "I AM going to marry this girl later on in life"
Son of a wanker this is long, have a cut.
And do girls think about this more than guys? Cos guys don't really get excited about relationships (I've never heard a guy squeal or coo about a relationship before :L), and don't participate in activities such as shipping, or that slightly disconcerting thing where they watch a guy and a girl flirt/play/talk and smile/ship/coo. I dunno, I just find it weird :L
Anyways, I find it unthinkable that I shall meet someone, in high school, that I will firstly, love, then, intend to marry. I do admit I have thought "I wonder what it'd be like to live with this person." And I weigh up whether I would enjoy living with them, based on what I know of them (which is really inaccurate considering most people live together in something they called a HOME - the one aspect I am NOT seeing). But despite my lack of information it's something I occasionally think about. I don't even know the point of telling you this; it's been a while I'd had a suitable person to think about this and I can't even remember if I thought it'd be nice or not O.O
But marrying a highschool girlfriend is a no from me. I would never, in high school, think, let alone say "Girl I wanna marry you". That's just colossal. That's making a dedication that is something like 4-5 times longer than your entire life thus far.
Because the oldest you'll be in high school is probably 18. You're going to marry this girl. When you intend to marry this means for the rest of your fucking life. That's like... until you're 70, 80ish. You don't go "yeah... let's marry. Until we're 40. Then I'll find someone else kk?" It's till death do you part.
Linking on, I'd say the amount of mistakes you make when you're young is very high, and that tapers off as you get older (like so)
But as you get older, if you make mistakes, the stakes (ho ho) are higher. Like if you fuck up as a little kid, you'll get condescending frowns or shouted at. If you fuck up as an adult you can get fired and your family is screwed. Or you can cause a divorce and screw everything up. And the list goes on. Hence the graph below:
It goes down at the end because as you get old and senile people will be like "what the old geezer? Chuck him in a nursing home!" It is most important (and therefore has a sharp peak) at around mid-life: you need to further your career. You have a pretty stable income, but will it lead to satisfactory retirement? The risks are high... the pressure is on. You fuck up and you are living in a nursing home, my friend.
And here are these two graphs superimposed.
Notice where the two graphs cross over? That's where you're considerably likely to make a considerable mistake. That, my friends, is where we are approaching. The HSC -> Uni years will be at that cross over. So if you lie low, study hard, work well for a bright future, you are minimalising the amount and severity of mistakes. If you're going to go full out and make a pseudo-proposal, be prepared to be fucked up the ass. I'm not saying that you're definitely going to get screwed (I mean sure, true love CAN exist in high school... right? Right?), but you should have some anal lube ready so that IF that ass-rapery actually ends up happening, you'd come prepared and it'd hurt less. Jesus Christ that's some nasty imagery that actually links amazingly to the topic :L
Relating onto this - being extremely forward in a relationship is a killer in some relationships, and sometimes the most crazy shit happens and you're like "why is the girl not 2km away from him yet?".
I guess the more you like someone (or love, if you truly insist that is what you feel), the more leeway you will give them for weird stuff because hey, you can see the cute/romantic/quirky side to it.
6 comments:
>And do girls think about this more than guys?
Not me. I don't even know if I want to get married because it just seems like another contract to sign.
I guess I'm a bit idealist in thinking that my love wont need a "marriage" to confirm it.
Even if I do marry I don't think I would do it before a nice old age because I wish to have as much fun as possible before committing myself to someone.
(anon'd because "have fun" inevitably means "sleep around" and I'll get judged)
how do u know if someone is 'the one'. if you can't determine that, then you'll never get married
@first anon
Yeah I guess it seems like another contract to sign, I can't argue with that.
And I'm idealist in thinking that marriage is the most complete way to bring two people together. Why is marriage in inverted commas anyway?
What DO you mean by "have fun" then? I swear the only type of "fun" you can't have when married is sleeping around. Marriage doesn't really stop anything else!
And I guess getting married isn't important if you aren't having kids. Like I can see how it is just tying you down, as well as your significant other. Who knows, I'm not making any decisions for anyone, nor am I trying to change anyone's opinion (Y)
@2nd anon
I don't personally believe there is "the one" out there. I think there are many people who would be suitable.
Like how can there possibly be ONE person out there, and one person only?
Also, by trying everything before buying (don't tell me that a proposal+wedding isn't equivalent to buying. Better start saving.), and by that I mean living together, having the awkward talks about kids, and having sex. I mean, sure, if you love them enough you can push through, romantic blah, but deep down how can you feel that this person is "right" if you don't feel like you connect on all these levels?
I can understand your point of view ... but people with different experiences will have different "knowledge" and .'. perspectives.
You seem cynical that people can find "love" in high school or meet people that they would consider marrying/spending the rest of their lives with.
And I think that's attributed to your own experiences.
But mine are telling me that love can be found at ten years of age and not fade for many, perhaps infinite, years onwards, just get stronger and deeper.
Depending on one's EQ and emotional maturity, essentially, one can fall in love at whatever age - although mostly ten or over, since before that your mind is still not ... well, stable? Theoretically speaking.
And honestly, if you were in my position, I don't think you would doubt the concept of young love, soulmates,fate, destiny things like that, however unlikely they might seem on the outset.
And this kind of thing IS highly uncommon; I think that it works out that life is balanced. Where some people have a lot of something, they might lack some other important thing.
Now marriage.
Do people get married to their first love, or people they date in high school? Is it valid to consider it? I think it is.
Truly loving someone usually results in wanting to commit to them; and if they're "the One" (if that term is desired to be used), I don't think there's anything odd or "colossal" about considering them as the person you would spend the rest of your life with. As you briefly mentioned.
HAHA I LOVE THOSE GRAPHS THOUGH.
i think that marriage is not actually a responsibility: when you marry, you typically have kids which are a massive responsibility, so people think of marriage as a massive responsibility. unless you have kids, i don't see any harm in divorce (except for the loss of any financial/legal benefits), especially if your relationship is crumbling anyway.
also to gain the financial/legal benefits of marriage you don't have to sacrifice the sleeping around part if you're emotionally intelligent enough and you get with the right person. people who have successful non-monogamous relationships exist. (note: i am almost certain that i am not emotionally intelligent enough to do this.)
anonymous 2: in addition to jeff's point, if you're constantly looking for 'the one', wouldn't you just constantly be thinking about how your current relationship fails compared to your last one instead of making the most out of your relationship?
@anon
Sadly, your "position" is with every other schmoe on the internet as far as I'm concerned. Which, if the internet serves me correctly, is sad and alone.
However you're not being a wanker and you're saying useful things so I will reply.
I'm saying that I would definitely date for more than a year before THINKING "yes I want to marry her". I'd then get a place with her, for another year or two at LEAST before still thinking "I still want to marry her".
Yes, they can be attributed to my own experiences. But I highly doubt you have had enough experiences with the guy/girl you love to be able to decide that "yes, I think I'm ready to make the commitment". Have you met your SO (significant other)'s parents/siblings? Does your SO snore like a mad pig? Does your SO sleeptalk? Does your SO shirk household chores?
In this I am also admitting I did make plenty of mistakes in these relationships too. This only tells me that there are probably more to come. Shit wasn't perfect.
I can understand why your experiences allow you to believe in young love (I'm not saying it doesn't exist - I'm saying that it's unlikely, and 99% not happening for me). I cannot understand how any sort of experience ever can make you believe without a doubt in soulmates, fate and destiny.
Well I didn't consider "love" in my relationship. It was just a deep liking. Technically I still have a chance of marrying my first love. And I actually intend for that to happen. Love is something I can truly feel after I feel nothing is hidden.
However I think dedicating the rest of your life to one person is fucking colossal as colossal gets. That is what makes marriage so special. If you can judge, at presumably 17yo, that you have found "the one", then there's nothing wrong with this =).
So in conclusion, I'm happy you're happy. It's great that things are working out for you so early, and settling down seems like an option.
For me, I'm not going to find true love for a while. I have parties to go to. I have stupid mistakes to make. I'm going to live a little bit first =)
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