will you marry me?

Once again I was reading cracked.com, more specifically this article.

From this article I discovered the absolute genius of the diamond industry giant De Beers.

Prior to 1930's, proposing was not done with a diamond ring. In fact, diamonds were only for rich people who felt like it, and had no cultural significance whatsoever. De Beers wanted to change this fact. They wanted diamonds to appeal to the everyday consumer. So how do they do this?

THEY FREAKING GO TO HIGH SCHOOLS AND TEACH THEM THAT "DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER". So in the 1930's, the tradition of proposing with a diamond ring was INTRODUCED as a marketing ploy by the BIGGEST DIAMOND COMPANY IN THE WORLD.

So now, every time someone gets engaged, the diamond industry seals a sale. At some shit like $15,000 a ring. And now, even if the boyfriend and girlfriend decide that diamond rings are unnecessary (they are), the boyfriend will still get judged for being a cheapo if he doesn't get a diamond ring. And the girl will inevitably get the unspoken "oh you poor girl" vibe from anyone who sets eyes on her un-diamond ring.

That genius in Marketing deserves a HUGE pay rise.


But that's not where it ends. Do you think diamonds are superduper rare? Is that why they're like $20k for a piece of diamond smaller than a mandarin seed? Well they're rare, but not THAT rare. De Beers will not allow too many mines to run at the same time! They intentionally halt mining at certain mines, or quickly buy out massive diamond deposits, so that the supply of diamonds is controlled and they can keep the elevated price of diamonds. I suppose this is to fuck over prospective fiances, just because they can. Or maybe the ridiculous price defines how much he loves her. As in, I-will-sacrifice-2-to-3-month's-salary-I-love-you. Relationships suddenly look a lot more material.


So if you think you're going hipster.
If you think you are dodging massive near-monopoly companies by buying obscurely branded items.
If you think you are immune to mass marketing techniques.
If you don't think your love for each other is defined by how much you [are willing to] spend on each other.
If you think you are better than all those weak-minded idiots out there, mindlessly buying well-established branded products just because.


Then too fucking bad, everyone expects you to get a diamond ring anyway. And you probably expect yourself to get a diamond ring too (from Tiffany, no less). You're just weak to the marketing as any other poor (like literally, my-house-has-been-mortgaged-three-times-and-I-sold-my-kidneys-on-the-black-market poor) chum out there.

4 comments:

Sun said...

WOAH.

jwhero said...

i KNOW!

But yeahp we'd better start saving now :L

Anonymous said...

too bad im too hipster to marry

jwhero said...

That solves the problem.

But there's one more hurdle for the hipster to leap in (probably)her hipster jeans.

Being able to not judge when you see a non-diamond engagement ring.

In which I don't even have enough confidence in myself to do, actually, so kudos to you if you can break this stigma =D

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