7 silver linings to a breakup

Written from a male perspective because I really don't want to say "boyfriend/girlfriend", every single time.

Dunno why I felt like writing this but I'm gonna come back to this some time in the future and think "wow my situation is completely unique. Nobody understands this situation. Least of all past me. Why would he understand? I'm fucking special (so fucking special *chk-chk, chk-chk*). I'm gonna ignore shit I say here because this time it's different."
But in truth (and retrospect), relationships are 1% unique and 99% all the same shit. Even if I deny it, I know I'm ultimately going to end up taking my own advice. Because shit's not fucking different. Shit's never different.

1) You have more friends than you previously appreciated.

Sample:
Me: "After all this time?"
Bro: "Always."
=P.

2) Be thankful that it actually happened.

Is that really worse than it not happening at all? When you asked them out, you must've liked them enough to deduce that getting them to say yes is worth any potential of break up later. Pretty sure every (most? many?) guy goes through this tedious mind-over-matter process of:

• Kay gonna ask her out
• What if she says no?
• I can deal with that - free adrenalin rush, get to compliment myself on my balls of steel.
• What if it ends up not working?
• Then we can end it - if she's not happy, neither am I.
  
• How would I deal with the breakup?
• I like her enough right now that if I don't take this chance to ask her out, I think I might hate myself forever.
  
• Yeahp asking her out then.
• Optional pussying out 
• Time passes...
• FUCK YES I'M THE KING OF THE WOOOOORLD!

In short - suck it up, you had fun. It was worth it when you asked her.

3) While you may not be happy for y amount of time due to your breakup, you were happy for the past x months.

Because you had the balls to ask her out. Go you! Pretty sure if you do the maths,  
x*[degree of happiness] > y*[degree of sadness]
Again - suck it up, you had fun. Unless, of course, you didn't have fun, in which case, why the fuck are you even sad?

4) If you didn't do anything wrong, and it just fell apart, then you just left the relationship guilt-free.

Sure, you may be sad, but you can always get over sadness faster than guilt. Guilt makes you feel like a bad person. Sadness inevitably turns to "the fuck do I give a shit for? PARTY!". Guilt is like "Man I screwed that up. If I were richer, I'd still be with her - ain't that some shit! I wish I had another chance!". If it helps, and it comes to that, just think of the other person as a bitch LOL. Spite soothes. This is like, it's not you it's her. Now gtfo. Suck it up, had fun.

5) You moved fast enough to like her while she was still cool.

Or before she became cool. Whatever suits your hipster needs. If they changed and they are no longer the girl you fell for, then give yourself a hi5 for acting with a sense of urgency and getting as much of the glory moments as you could possibly muster.
This is like - you don't know who she is anymore. Maybe you should get her to read you your notebook to overcome your Alzheimer's. Lol jokes you have perfect memory and you are perfectly lucid - she's changed and she definitely doesn't have the dedication to read you your diary every day (or build a house or send a letter every day etc etc.)

6) Been there done that

All future suitors have to deal with their guilty conscience (Been there, done that.. aw fuck it... What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?).
It's like, if you were a dog marking your territory, taking a piss, and later going "This isn't really mine anymore". And other dogs come along and are like "yeah this isn't his anymore. Still smells like him though. Awks."
Like in HIMYM when Barney messed up Ted by telling him he'd been there done that, and theres little dancing Barneys everywhere LOL

And finally,

7) Doesn't matter - had sex!

(That's a link)
(That's not porn LOL)


WOO and I'm done. Thinking ahead for future Jeff. I owe me one xP


So yeah I'm gone for the next 10 days. Hope I left on a high note =P. There's not too much for girls in this post, but next post will have a comment (should I still think it's a good idea) that should have interesting reactions xP