twas not meant to be

Okay so this didn't happen at school because school isn't really that hilarious anymore.

Nor is what happened to us "hilarious" as much as "unfortunate", but the Internet is a place full of faggots (not an insult) who find other's miseries enjoyable. So let us proceed.

So we went rock climbing at Castle Towers and nothing bad happened so that's okay.

After that it was Samuel's birthday. So we were like... yes let's celebrate with a round of Baileys (because I have heard nice reviews about it as a recreational drink).

So those with me at this point were Samuel and Tom, and we went to Castle Towers to pick up a bottle of Baileys, have a little, before gifting it to Sammy.

DENIED.

First we walked into a shop near Woolies in Towers. We weren't stupid, we weren't gonna let Tom into a store for the adults. But apparently the dude saw that Tom was walking with us and demanded to check his ID too. We couldn't be bothered BS-ing to get out of it because there's plenty more places to buy liquor.

Apparently not though, because the other shop near Bi-Lo didn't stock Baileys in bottles smaller than 700mL (we were going for the 200mL or perhaps 375). We even took great care to have Tom hang back so people wouldn't suspect us. So slightly battered, we decided we would have to go to Parra Westfield because there were two shops in there.

Okay so we went to the one next to Woolworths in Westfield. But no, we were in our jerseys and the dude refused to serve us on the grounds that we were in our uniforms. I still don't get why this is a rule (if it even applies to school uniforms - I know it applies to police uniform and possibly to military, but school?!?!) but we took it like men and left.

Our LAST HOPE was the one near Coles. We had been rejected 3 times but still we do not falter. We wanted goddamn Baileys on Samuel's birthday, and we will not take no for an answer. So I took off my jersey (I was wearing a normal shirt underneath, the one Brian gave me (thanks :P)), and we headed towards our last glimmer of hope.

I went by myself, not allowing Samuel or Tom to be seen. This is bloody foolproof. There is no way they can reject me.

Oh fucking jokes it's closed.

Let us recap.
1) Saw Tom and refused to serve us if we were with minors.
2) Did not have an acceptable size of Baileys.
3) Refused to serve us in school uniform (?!?!).
4) Closed.

We figured that I could just go back into the 3rd store and try to make the purchase, but we decided against it. We could not take a fifth rejection. If they didn't have Baileys, or refused on the grounds I USED to be in school uniform, then GG zero ego left.

Okay lets cut out losses and go to the food court, eat some Maccas, and head on home. We'd been kicked down, had sand kicked into our eyes, and been spat on. It was time to call it quits. So we head up to the level 5 food court, where Maccas remains the only store with lights on.

I was fancying myself one of those deluxe chicken burgers or whatever the hell they sell.

"Sorry we're closed now."

ALRIGHT. I GET IT. THE GODS DID NOT WANT US IN HERE. FUCKING HELL. OKAY WE'LL LEAVE.

So from level 5 we took a series of escalators/travelators all the way down to level 1 so we can get to the interchange and sulk at home.

Oh but the barriers were up. That's great we only have to go to level 5 again.

So we took the escalators back up to level 5, walked to the other side, passing by the Woolies liquor shop with temptation on our minds, but again we decided that it was not worth the risk. We made it down to the interchange, where Tom and Samuel decided to go home, but I spotted a Nandos (because I told my parents that I'd eat out and be home by 8) so I didn't have to bus to Carlo Court.

I ate my peri burger with only mild enjoyment.


I swear life just went Poe's law on us. There is no way that such a series of stupid and unfortunate events could've happened in such close succession.