life sucks eh

On an unrelated note: I like it when I use Tripview and I just wait at a platform while the rest of the passengers go look at a timetable. And when they come back I'm like "What, didn't you know that?" =P

Went for a massive city trip today and I am tired. Spotted like 4 or 5 Starbucks in the city today.
Also the Centre Point Tower Westfield logo is ugly as fuck. One of Sydney's icons sold out =(
Also walked around the Opera House and couldn't tell what was the main entrance. Didn't find impressive double doors or anything =P. But there were some smaller door objects which could've been what I was looking for.

And I cbf posting anymore because it doesn't really interest anyone if I post about my day.


This was meant to be posted yesterday but I evidently didn't click publish. So here we are =P

brownie points for participating

On Annual, discovered Tim Minchin, the person behind Prejudice/Taboo/Ginger Song, whatever you will call it.

Youtubed him at home and found some funny shit:


On human logic - the ending is hilarious =P. This guy attracts an atheist audience due to the nature of his material. So don't watch if you are gonna watch it and then complain about it. Otherwise, go ahead :L


And this one is a 3 minute song with terrible double entendres. Clever!

You probably didn't watch those so have something with some relevance to you:
If you have an iDevice and an iTunes account and have Game Centre - add me "jwhero". I always forget to ask people and the inbuilt friend finder pretty much sucks.
If you have an unobvious screen name please tell me who you are on MSN or something :L

monster survey

I'd saved up this survey for a bajillion years. The answers were outdated so I re-did it. Please note I may have left some outdated answers - if they don't make sense, please tell me =)

For your entertainment, have a pictionary.

3 words, spaces, no punctuation (this has different forms of spelling the same thing, like "meat pie" and "meatpie", so once you've got it, try a couple of alternate forms if your first try doesn't work :L)

Clue 1
This is a themed pictionary!
Clue 2
It's a pun.
Clue 3
Think about pixels.

belonging creative

Here is a story that I wrote randomly through SMS. We were on the topic of how annoying writing a creative is, and how much cooler it would be if we could just write a children's story.
So here is what I came up with, on a whim:

"Ouch!" cried the matchstick. "Ouch, ouch, ouch!"
His head bumped against the footpath, and suddenly - WHOOSH! - he was on fire.
What should matchstick do?
He saw a pile of gunpowder - no, that won't do!
He saw a pool of petrol - no, that won't do!
He saw a puddle on the ground - yes, that would do!
He stuck his head into the puddle and sighed. Tssssss - He was not on fire anymore!

But he changed from GINGER to NIGGER (ANAGRAM'D!)

Then my final comment - I am on freaking fire.


Analysis:
The initial cry of "Ouch" establishes a possible conflict. Indeed, he is then soon faced with the choice of how to put out the fire that is his head.
His incongruity in his environment is highlighted through the objects that are present - a matchstick does not belong where there is lots of gunpowder or petrol lying around.
The juxtaposition of racial identities in GINGER to NIGGER highlights how the colour of his head affects his sense of identity. Initially he considered himself a redhead, but after ignition, he considers himself a blackhead(?). This idea of ginger being an anagram of nigger was inspired by Tim Minchin :L

annual 2011

Here are memories from Annual 2011
There is profuse swearing because that is how it happened. So if you are liable to offence then please save yourself while you still have sanity.

~~~
Victor: What's the weather like for the trek?
Brian: I don't know, leave me alone!
Samuel: Hey what are you watching?
Brian: I'm reading a fucking blog post, get the fuck out!
~~~
(Freya blatantly eavesdropping on our convo from the seat behind)
(Pretending we weren't aware of her intrusion)
Jeff: Damn, I hope Freya's not listening to our conversation! She might get offended by what we're saying!
Brian: Yeah, it's pretty rude if she finds out that we FUCKING HATE HER
(I can't remember if Freya chimed out at this point)
~~~
Swearing battles
I have an audio file of our swearing battle (with Johnny just listening awkwardly, at like 11 at night)
But a golden call by Brian
Jeff: Did you just fucking fart?
Brian: No, fuck you!
Jeff: It looks like your mouth makes the same noises as your fucking asshole
Brian: When your shits take a shit, that sounds like what comes out of your fucking mouth.
Jeff: So like, no noise, you fuck?
...
Brian: I fucking wish.
Jeff: Good game, dear gentleman. I concede defeat.
~~~
In barracks phase we met Sammy Lucky - the orphan boy who had no clothes and had to wear Tree's clothes.
I have the audio file on my phone, but I will transcribe it here.
Jeff: Right, tell us the story of the immigrant orphan child.
Tree: What we have here is a boy named Sammy Lucky, who is an immigrant orphan from Vietnam, here to experience the Australian culture of bushwalking.
Jeff: So how did he come about to be... an orphan?
Tree: His parents died in a manufacturing accident when they worked at the braces factory. This is why [Sammy] has braces.
Jeff (To Sammy): So you have free braces for life. What do you think about this?
Samuel Sammy Lucky (idiot accent): Extremely good, man!
Jeff: How do you like your cupcake?
Sammmy Lucky: First time taste the sugar(?) in two year, bro!
Jeff: Do you need vegetables in your life?
Sammy Lucky: No need - what is vegetable?
Jeff: What does your diet consist of?
Sammy Lucky: Meat only. Very good.
Tree: This boy has not tasted fresh water in the last twenty years. He's actually 26. While he may look like he's going through puberty, due to the lack of food in his poor impoverished state, he has not grown.
Jeff: Excellent, thankyou very much for this story of Sammy Lucky.
~~~
Sammy Lucky's first first world problem: I don't think I can finish my hundreds and thousands cupcake - hate life.
(Shit, too much food! Life is the shits)
~~~
ABC Triangle Game. Let's just leave it at that.
~~~
This next conversation - it was between me and Brian. However, I can't remember who said what, so I'll just use 1 and 2
1: I should leave my phone in my sleeping bad so it doesn't fall off my second bunk
2: Next to your penis.
1: Yes, so when I get a text I am happy in two ways
2: Killing two birds with one stone.
1: How bout I kill your two stone with one bird?! *falcon punch*
~~~
The story of the bottle from the pits of hell.
We wrote a complete horror story in Amanda's memory book thing. But the synopsis goes as such.
Brian and Tree were playing with a 2L water bottle. They opened the lid and instead of water *dun dun dun* it was SAND OF PURE EVIL.
Jeff, being a reckless fool, bent down and touched the sand. In an instant, he was gone!
The 2L bottle suddenly gained weight, as if it were filled again. Brian and Tree looked inside the bottle, and JEFF'S EYE WAS STARING BACK.
The sand was not sand. IT WAS DECOMPOSED HUMAN REMAINS OMFG.
Tree carried the bottle for the next few days for some reason or another. And one day it is randomly split open!
Demons started crawling up the cliff faces, searching for a soul to eat.
A sacrificial lamb (unnamed) is ... sacrificed and the demons have settled the debt.
THE unfulfilling END.
~~~
This is a random piece of netting in Brian's tent. We had no idea what it was for. Brian theorised that it was to trap bugs or moisture. I theorised that it was a crucial component in defending against abduction beams from UFO's. I called it an Abductor Reductor.
This was closer to the mark than expected, as installing this required putting the body in such an angle that your abs get quite a workout. Here are a couple of pictures Brian took of me installing the abductor reductor.

~~~
EDIT:
Here's more stuff that should be remembered
Tree: I'm going to buy Apple when I grow up and call it Apple Tree?
Me: So we're putting our last names after companies, are we? I'm gonna buy Microsoft and call it Microsoft Wang *pun master*

Also in Big 2 we must never forget the effectiveness of the Sicilian Opening LOL.
~~~
Now have some pretty pictures =) (in 8mp glory, of course)

7 silver linings to a breakup

Written from a male perspective because I really don't want to say "boyfriend/girlfriend", every single time.

Dunno why I felt like writing this but I'm gonna come back to this some time in the future and think "wow my situation is completely unique. Nobody understands this situation. Least of all past me. Why would he understand? I'm fucking special (so fucking special *chk-chk, chk-chk*). I'm gonna ignore shit I say here because this time it's different."
But in truth (and retrospect), relationships are 1% unique and 99% all the same shit. Even if I deny it, I know I'm ultimately going to end up taking my own advice. Because shit's not fucking different. Shit's never different.

1) You have more friends than you previously appreciated.

Sample:
Me: "After all this time?"
Bro: "Always."
=P.

2) Be thankful that it actually happened.

Is that really worse than it not happening at all? When you asked them out, you must've liked them enough to deduce that getting them to say yes is worth any potential of break up later. Pretty sure every (most? many?) guy goes through this tedious mind-over-matter process of:

• Kay gonna ask her out
• What if she says no?
• I can deal with that - free adrenalin rush, get to compliment myself on my balls of steel.
• What if it ends up not working?
• Then we can end it - if she's not happy, neither am I.
  
• How would I deal with the breakup?
• I like her enough right now that if I don't take this chance to ask her out, I think I might hate myself forever.
  
• Yeahp asking her out then.
• Optional pussying out 
• Time passes...
• FUCK YES I'M THE KING OF THE WOOOOORLD!

In short - suck it up, you had fun. It was worth it when you asked her.

3) While you may not be happy for y amount of time due to your breakup, you were happy for the past x months.

Because you had the balls to ask her out. Go you! Pretty sure if you do the maths,  
x*[degree of happiness] > y*[degree of sadness]
Again - suck it up, you had fun. Unless, of course, you didn't have fun, in which case, why the fuck are you even sad?

4) If you didn't do anything wrong, and it just fell apart, then you just left the relationship guilt-free.

Sure, you may be sad, but you can always get over sadness faster than guilt. Guilt makes you feel like a bad person. Sadness inevitably turns to "the fuck do I give a shit for? PARTY!". Guilt is like "Man I screwed that up. If I were richer, I'd still be with her - ain't that some shit! I wish I had another chance!". If it helps, and it comes to that, just think of the other person as a bitch LOL. Spite soothes. This is like, it's not you it's her. Now gtfo. Suck it up, had fun.

5) You moved fast enough to like her while she was still cool.

Or before she became cool. Whatever suits your hipster needs. If they changed and they are no longer the girl you fell for, then give yourself a hi5 for acting with a sense of urgency and getting as much of the glory moments as you could possibly muster.
This is like - you don't know who she is anymore. Maybe you should get her to read you your notebook to overcome your Alzheimer's. Lol jokes you have perfect memory and you are perfectly lucid - she's changed and she definitely doesn't have the dedication to read you your diary every day (or build a house or send a letter every day etc etc.)

6) Been there done that

All future suitors have to deal with their guilty conscience (Been there, done that.. aw fuck it... What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?).
It's like, if you were a dog marking your territory, taking a piss, and later going "This isn't really mine anymore". And other dogs come along and are like "yeah this isn't his anymore. Still smells like him though. Awks."
Like in HIMYM when Barney messed up Ted by telling him he'd been there done that, and theres little dancing Barneys everywhere LOL

And finally,

7) Doesn't matter - had sex!

(That's a link)
(That's not porn LOL)


WOO and I'm done. Thinking ahead for future Jeff. I owe me one xP


So yeah I'm gone for the next 10 days. Hope I left on a high note =P. There's not too much for girls in this post, but next post will have a comment (should I still think it's a good idea) that should have interesting reactions xP

fucking deep

And so I celebrate my first stupid photo + filter + helvetica creation:

Behold, in 8mp glory,

=P


And a special rage comic to someone who does not 9gag:

"Creation" by Tom, Max, Tree, Saj, Freya, Jeff =P

Found on the vote page at:
http://9gag.com/gag/930264

That was simultaneously the most retarded and most awesome cake I have ever eaten.
Some quotes that cannot be forgotten:

Max: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS
Michael: IT'S A LAIR!

Samuel: You almost sliced my face off.

Everyone: I ATE SOME MINERALS. WHAT IS THIS SHIT.

Samuel: Fuck, I ate the hidden warheads *proceeds to die*

So much fun creating that pile of icing epic cake =)

day at the beach

Beach was pretty fun =)

Would've been epicer with all of meatloaf there though =(. But it was too cold to do actual beachy shit, so we played vortex and a little beach cricket and some scrubs lost Ben Zhu's frisbee and boomerang.

Then we went to Sandbar to chill with the year 12's. Then went to have fish and chips. Then came back and snapped a couple of pictures =P

I then became obsessed with the perfect tumblr photo of the general sad message of "we like love but it sucks quite a bit"

It took a good 30 mins because at first, my first concept was to make two sets of footprints, mine and a girl's. However, it's really difficult to get a nice footprint on the wet sand (or at least a part of wet sand that the waves look likely to hit again)
With Eileen's help (she was being a genius that day - and that day ONLY mind you xP), she suggested we just write a message in the sand.

So in the cheesiest way imaginable, I wrote "I love you". Apparently I draw nice hearts LOL

So I sat and waited for ages because sand that is too wet doesn't write nicely, and sand that is too dry means that waves don't ever hit it.

So I Googled Helvetica and found out it was expensive as fuck, so I found an almost-but-not-quite alternative. FUCK THE SYSTEM. I'm doing my own shit xP

And one last one, for your viewing pleasure - This picture is in full 8mp glory, so enjoy fullscreen 8D

I hope you guys realise the captions have nothing to do with anything, let alone with the people I'm taking piccies of :L
This is all for fun.


Addendum:

Yeah you guys are all fucked. I am now hipster level 99 xP

just add helvetica

I am going to be a hipster (like everyone else), take a regular photo, apply a nice filter, optionally add helvetica, and pretend it's art. Maybe I grabbed the attention of some people who don't like reading this blog. =P

This is thanks muchly to Yun, who wrote this on an Intuition booklet when I suggested making a Tumblr photo. Our class tutor, while marking my booklet, circled it and wrote "??" next to it xP.

But I want to talk about both friendzone (where no mortal man dares to tread) and bros (with the complementary hos).

Friendzone, I define as, when you go through the motions of courting but you fuck it up and no longer remain a serious candidate. This is usually the unwilling male trying too hard to be the nice guy, remains too nice, overshoots the optimum "nice guy" zone, and lands himself squarely in the sticky friendzone.
Like those golf games or whatever, where you have to hit the ball at a certain velocity so that you a) make the distance and b) still have control over where the ball goes. For friendzone, this can be seen as a) showing that you care but b) not that much.
Then there is pseudo-friendzone, where it is mutually agreed upon that you guys are not ever gonna be banging, but would make good friends. Symptom of this is when you go to each other for relationship advice/gossip. It's actually quite a pleasant place to be, unlike the real, original friendzone. Because this time, at least we're willing.

There is no escape from original friendzone. The only reason we were so shocked by Chandler+Monica is because HE WAS IN THE MOTHER FUCKING FRIENDZONE. HE DID NOT JUST GET OUT. The key is to avoid it in the first place - how you do that is completely up to you xP

Also, never let it be forgotten that bros before hoes should always be your motto. Chicks before dicks (or whatever the fuck the attempt to counter bros before hos is) is a similar one that applies to girls.
As a good bro said:

Taking hos over bros is like selling a cow to buy milk.

So basically - if you get interested in to other gender, don't forget your friends who have lasted forever. Because chances are, your bf/gf will last far from forever.

While we're on mottos - my new way of thinking is "Because I can". Shit I do does not need justification. Thinking less and doing more is much favourable over thinking more and doing less.


I am preparing a monster post with lots of encryptions because it is a topic that not everyone is designed to read (sorry!). I will engineer my encryptions so that the right people will be able to access it. I hope it's clever enough to filter out the right people.

Now I need to test headings because I have to do some HTML-ing, and must see how the titles look. Bar this please.

Heading 1

Heading 2

Heading 3

Heading 4

Heading 5

Heading 6

disrespect

As I have mentioned previously, I am saddened by those who own smartphones/DSLRs but clearly have no idea how to use them.

Linking on from that, I have a similar feeling for people who do subjects, but are against a key element of said subject. I can speak for my sciences:

Physics and Chemistry usually have people complaining about either concepts or calculations, but whatever, they can be hard.
Biology, however. Why would you complain about seeing blood, seeing guts, seeing bugs, dissecting organs, etc, if you chose to do Biology?! What did you think we were going to do? That is obviously inevitable in Biology - deal with it in advance please.

I can't be bothered being eloquent anymore, I'm tired :L