I am here to post what I think alcohol does to inhibitions.
I personally don't think alcohol could persuade me to do things I wouldn't do for x amount of dollars while sober.
A conservative estimate for the value of $x is 1 drink = $5, 2 drinks = $10, 3 drinks = $20, 4 drinks = $40, etc.
The empirical formula is $X = 5*2^(n-1), where n is number of drinks had, n>0. I will be watching out for this in the future, and you should too so you can contribute to my hectic data ;D
I derno I'd like to collect other's opinions about just how stupid alcohol makes you. Like could you ever go "drunken rage" and bash people if you didn't, deep down, actually feel like bashing said people? I've seen FMLs of people who have impulse bought lots of stupid shit online while drunk, but ???. Must experiment more with how effective alcohol is.
Alcohol probably wouldn't be able to convince me to do something that I knew, deepset in my morals, was bad for me, e.g. getting behind the wheel. Though I haven't had too much experience with that and I will keep you updated in case I ever do :L
So far it seems like the first symptom is talking louder and with more confidence, then it's laughing and general euphoria, then it's the need to piss, then after that it's feeling that cognitive function is greatly reduced and balance is somewhat off (as if brain felt liquidy and shouldn't be swished ahaha), then quite intense short term memory loss (anecdote: I put Max's soju in my bag and managed to forget about it 6 times, eventually taking it home with me T.T). I also had some trouble following sentences that were longer than 10 seconds in duration. I'm guessing next is loss of ability to walk, actual memory blackout (despite short term memory loss at the time, I can still remember what happened that night), and then the hectic stuff like passing out and stuffz.
Of course once you've drunk enough to pass out, no amount of money can justify being ducttaped to the window.
Here are some facts that I know will be useful to some, as they make the transition from underage to "I can buy my own beer".
On an empty stomach, 20% ABV is the most quickly absorbed. On an empty stomach, 40% ABV (ie most spirits) is a better idea than 20% ABV (liqueurs like Baileys or wine). On all bottles, you should find both an ABV statement and a standard drink counter. If you're at a restaurant you can ask the bartender if you don't fear sounding like a pansy.
On a full stomach, 40% ABV gets diluted and hence is more likely to get you drunk.
After feeling drunk, it's important to boost water levels with non-alcoholic drinks like coke or water, because the metabolism of alcohol in the liver is very dehydrating. Part of the hangover is terrible dehydration.
Drinking many different types of drinks will more likely give you a hangover. I think it overloads the liver and it just ragequits and poisons the fuck out of you. So be nice to your liver, and streamline the processing process lol. Also cheap liquor that you bought for $3 a bottle will probably not be that good for you tomorrow morning, seeing as they can't be fucked distilling it, and probably do something shoddy like decanting the alcohol LOL.
To calculate the number of standard drinks, look at ABV (alcohol by volume). Lets say we have a 700mL bottle of Smirnoff. For vodka lets say it's 40%. So we have 40% * 700mL = 280mL of alcohol. But alcohol is .789g/mL, so 280*.789 = 220.92. One standard drink is defined as 10g of ethanol, so divide that by 10, you have 22.092 standard drinks in that bottle. Fulleh sick now you can count drinks ohoho. A standard drink is also the amount of alcohol you should be able to metabolise in 1 hour.
Each drink will raise your BAC by ~0.025. So each drink = +0.025, and each hour since your first drink = -0.025. As a guideline, the legal limit for full drivers license holders is 0.05 BAC. Of course it's different for each person, if you're skinnier and/or shorter than an average man, then adjust accordingly (Y).
Btw when I say "each drink" in this post I mean "each standard drink".
sort-of advice
The other day I read about penile fractures because Reddit got me thinking that way. (Yeah, click here to skip the penis stuff if you're squeamish)
This can only happen when erect, and involves the rupturing of erectile tissue, and causes immediate flaccidity, pain, and bruise-like appearance on the penis.
It is also a medical emergency, which requires surgical attention.
Now there is one key rule to preventing this unfortunate predicament is just to not bend the penis in stupid ways.
This means that joining the mile high club isn't so smart because sooner or later the dick is gonna bend sideways and possibly end in nasty.
Also avoid reverse cowgirl. I shall explain why, because apparently it is a mystery to some that both the vagina and penis have a slight curve to them. When you put those curves in opposing directions a dick is going to snap.
Which reminds me of how ducks have this hectic anti rape thing. I think firstly the females developed a convoluted so that the males would have more trouble forcefully copulating with them. Then the males develop a screwdriver penis so that they can get deeper in. Then the females develop spiral vaginas that curl the other way. Then the males learn how to shoot their dick and literally pop a boner (see from article above), and the females develop false dead ends in their vaginas to stop the males short.
So on and so forth it's like fucked up Lamarckism and it makes no sense why ducks have managed to survive so long as a species if so much of their energy is spent on making elaborate dick traps and even more elaborate dick guns.
You only have to watch the slow motion videos from that link above to see what I'm talking about.
Back to the non-dicks
I would like to deliver a PSA to people who cannot be fucked reading things properly. Which includes everyone right now graduating with Red laptops who thinks they can use Adobe wherever the hell they like.
Firstly you can get your copy of Microsoft Office without graduating your laptop, because your student numbers are already in the system.
Use your 431... number and register and then you can download each of Microsoft Office for Windows 2010, Office for Mac 2011, and Windows 7 Ultimate.
Go to http://nsw.dec.onthehub.com/ to claim your spoils.
It's a good idea to take a screenshot or copypaste the serials into a text doc because if you don't use the serials within 30 days it's gone from the NSWDEC server and you can never retrieve it again.
If you, for some reason, want to license the Office on your red laptop, you do not need to download the program files. After you've graduated your laptop, if you try to open Office it will just tell you to try to plug in a serial (which you will have!!!)
If you are over that red piece of junk, and are installing it on your own computer, you obviously need to download the program files for Office 2010 (removing any other installs of older Offices if applicable).
Obviously you should all snap up Office for Windows, but I also recommend taking an Office for Mac just in case you wanna go hipster. And a Windows Ultimate in case you get a new machine with no OS.
I'd also like to point out that you don't get to use Adobe. What I mean by that is that
1) You do not get a license key that you can use on your home computer
2) Good luck opening, let alone rendering with, Adobe products on the shitty Red laptop.
If you read the license agreement you would find the line "You will have access to using the Adobe software on your DER-NSW Lenovo, IdeaPad S10e laptop only". Please, I do not want to hear another person tell me otherwise.
I shall summarise here. You get one license key for each of the Microsoft Products, of which you may use each serial only once.
You get the Adobe WebPremium CS fully licensed upon graduating. Fulleh sick.
And I knew I did not misquote the prices for Adobe. To buy your first license for CS6 (as in, not upgrading from CS5), Photoshop by itself is a whopping $1168, and the Master Collection is $4344. How the hell do people afford that shit that actually costs as much as an old second-hand car.
Oh oh random addition. Keep an eye out on these two products when you are in Uni.
Microsoft Dreamspark (Most Australia Unis are subscribed to Dreamspark Premium) tbh I forgot why this excited me before but it's a shittonne of free programs, and includes Microsoft Maths, which could come in handy
Microsoft Office University has all the Office programs that Home and Business has. The key can be used on 2 machines. It is only $99 (compare to price of Home&Business, which is $379 for 2 machines)
This can only happen when erect, and involves the rupturing of erectile tissue, and causes immediate flaccidity, pain, and bruise-like appearance on the penis.
It is also a medical emergency, which requires surgical attention.
Now there is one key rule to preventing this unfortunate predicament is just to not bend the penis in stupid ways.
This means that joining the mile high club isn't so smart because sooner or later the dick is gonna bend sideways and possibly end in nasty.
Also avoid reverse cowgirl. I shall explain why, because apparently it is a mystery to some that both the vagina and penis have a slight curve to them. When you put those curves in opposing directions a dick is going to snap.
Which reminds me of how ducks have this hectic anti rape thing. I think firstly the females developed a convoluted so that the males would have more trouble forcefully copulating with them. Then the males develop a screwdriver penis so that they can get deeper in. Then the females develop spiral vaginas that curl the other way. Then the males learn how to shoot their dick and literally pop a boner (see from article above), and the females develop false dead ends in their vaginas to stop the males short.
So on and so forth it's like fucked up Lamarckism and it makes no sense why ducks have managed to survive so long as a species if so much of their energy is spent on making elaborate dick traps and even more elaborate dick guns.
You only have to watch the slow motion videos from that link above to see what I'm talking about.
Back to the non-dicks
I would like to deliver a PSA to people who cannot be fucked reading things properly. Which includes everyone right now graduating with Red laptops who thinks they can use Adobe wherever the hell they like.
Firstly you can get your copy of Microsoft Office without graduating your laptop, because your student numbers are already in the system.
Use your 431... number and register and then you can download each of Microsoft Office for Windows 2010, Office for Mac 2011, and Windows 7 Ultimate.
Go to http://nsw.dec.onthehub.com/ to claim your spoils.
It's a good idea to take a screenshot or copypaste the serials into a text doc because if you don't use the serials within 30 days it's gone from the NSWDEC server and you can never retrieve it again.
If you, for some reason, want to license the Office on your red laptop, you do not need to download the program files. After you've graduated your laptop, if you try to open Office it will just tell you to try to plug in a serial (which you will have!!!)
If you are over that red piece of junk, and are installing it on your own computer, you obviously need to download the program files for Office 2010 (removing any other installs of older Offices if applicable).
Obviously you should all snap up Office for Windows, but I also recommend taking an Office for Mac just in case you wanna go hipster. And a Windows Ultimate in case you get a new machine with no OS.
I'd also like to point out that you don't get to use Adobe. What I mean by that is that
1) You do not get a license key that you can use on your home computer
2) Good luck opening, let alone rendering with, Adobe products on the shitty Red laptop.
If you read the license agreement you would find the line "You will have access to using the Adobe software on your DER-NSW Lenovo, IdeaPad S10e laptop only". Please, I do not want to hear another person tell me otherwise.
I shall summarise here. You get one license key for each of the Microsoft Products, of which you may use each serial only once.
You get the Adobe WebPremium CS fully licensed upon graduating. Fulleh sick.
And I knew I did not misquote the prices for Adobe. To buy your first license for CS6 (as in, not upgrading from CS5), Photoshop by itself is a whopping $1168, and the Master Collection is $4344. How the hell do people afford that shit that actually costs as much as an old second-hand car.
Oh oh random addition. Keep an eye out on these two products when you are in Uni.
Microsoft Dreamspark (Most Australia Unis are subscribed to Dreamspark Premium) tbh I forgot why this excited me before but it's a shittonne of free programs, and includes Microsoft Maths, which could come in handy
Microsoft Office University has all the Office programs that Home and Business has. The key can be used on 2 machines. It is only $99 (compare to price of Home&Business, which is $379 for 2 machines)
ios gaming
There are some people who you would rather not be there when you are having some chill time with your phone.
You may be playing a somewhat chillaxed game of Tilt to Live or Cut the Rope or some shit, or perhaps watching a video on YouTube, or whatever. Generally, it is a time of peace and even if you get frustrated for getting 2 stars for the ninety billionth time in Angry Birds, it's still somehow your quiet time.
This isn't all from personal experience, I've also watched other people utter annoyed exclamations such as "fuck off" to some of these perpetrators.
Allow me to introduce you to the crew.
Well that was irrelevant because the people watching are rarely strangers. However they are still invading my personal space, and instead of creepy they are annoying.
It is uncomfortably close to have someone's face less than a handspan's length away from my face. I'll count it as "next to my face" if I can see your out of my peripheral vision. If you're behind me I don't give a fuck you're cool and doing the right thing. Unless you're breathing down my neck, then that's a whole different story.
Anyways please don't it is just goddamn uncomfortable and awkward, unless you're of my preferred gender and I like you LOL
Even if I like you I cannot get over the fact that your head is so much more opaque than it needs to be.
They will be more than happy to show you how to "play it properly", or something along those veins, because they are dissatisfied with how you spend your quiet time.
Personally I've watched plenty a person play Fruit Ninja (usually on Zen mode, because it has no bombs), swiping as goddamn fast as their wrist+arms will allow. Despite the badly veiled masturbation movements, I see no need to ruin their happy time.
Obviously that is not the best way to maximise score. But I don't think people realise not everyone cares about score. Some people just want to practise masturbating at school without getting arrested.
Nobody has gone so far as to snatch a device out of my hands (yet), but I can totally see it happening. They will not see my knee flying towards their face until too late, though.
Do you think it would be a good idea to run a motherfucking verbal game tutorial when I am trying to get away with not listening in class?
Now let's imagine it's a free period. I wouldn't actually mind answering questions then. It also guarantees that the person next to me is more likely someone I actually like (contrast with who I have to sit next to in certain periods).
And seriously some questions can be answered by just shutting the fuck up, like "which one is you?". Usually it's the one that looks different from all the other ones (Y).
The owner places it on the table benevolently so the group of people can see (usually 5 or so).
Then somebody decides they don't have a good enough view so they go and grab it and hold it up to their own face for a better view.
This would be fine except for one major flaw. This flaw is that the final result is exactly one person with a good view, and exactly the rest of the people who do not have a view at all.
In puzzle games, the person who mindlessly grabs the phone also tends to be the person who does not solve the puzzle. Causation/correlation? Probably.
In my opinion, the only person who has the right to do such a thing is the person who owns the goddamn phone in the first place.
On an unrelated note,
Also Project Semibreve may never come to fruition because I failed to recognise how much time the freaking Trials took up :L
Unless someone really likes logistics and picks up the slack LOL.
Iono if a stroke of inspiration comes up I might finish up the rhythm section but there's heaps of shit to go =(
You may be playing a somewhat chillaxed game of Tilt to Live or Cut the Rope or some shit, or perhaps watching a video on YouTube, or whatever. Generally, it is a time of peace and even if you get frustrated for getting 2 stars for the ninety billionth time in Angry Birds, it's still somehow your quiet time.
This isn't all from personal experience, I've also watched other people utter annoyed exclamations such as "fuck off" to some of these perpetrators.
Allow me to introduce you to the crew.
The one that places their head a bit too close
Do you remember that concept we learnt in primary school called "personal space"? And if a stranger invades your personal space you should tell a teacher or some shit?Well that was irrelevant because the people watching are rarely strangers. However they are still invading my personal space, and instead of creepy they are annoying.
It is uncomfortably close to have someone's face less than a handspan's length away from my face. I'll count it as "next to my face" if I can see your out of my peripheral vision. If you're behind me I don't give a fuck you're cool and doing the right thing. Unless you're breathing down my neck, then that's a whole different story.
Anyways please don't it is just goddamn uncomfortable and awkward, unless you're of my preferred gender and I like you LOL
The one that places their head in your line of sight
This one takes the previous one one step further and decides that any further than my arm's length away is way too damn far for their eyes. So they have to get in closer. Now that wouldn't be a problem, except I need that particular line joining my eyes to the screen so that I may continue to see what the fuck is going on.Even if I like you I cannot get over the fact that your head is so much more opaque than it needs to be.
The one who is "better than you"
Invariably you will have come across one of these people before. Often male, they are always "better than you" at the particular game.They will be more than happy to show you how to "play it properly", or something along those veins, because they are dissatisfied with how you spend your quiet time.
Personally I've watched plenty a person play Fruit Ninja (usually on Zen mode, because it has no bombs), swiping as goddamn fast as their wrist+arms will allow. Despite the badly veiled masturbation movements, I see no need to ruin their happy time.
Obviously that is not the best way to maximise score. But I don't think people realise not everyone cares about score. Some people just want to practise masturbating at school without getting arrested.
Nobody has gone so far as to snatch a device out of my hands (yet), but I can totally see it happening. They will not see my knee flying towards their face until too late, though.
The one that keeps asking what is going on
This one isn't too bad if it's kept to less than 5 questions. However, if I am trying to get away with it in a slow Chem period (read: every Chem period), does it look like I want to answer "what does that power up do?"Do you think it would be a good idea to run a motherfucking verbal game tutorial when I am trying to get away with not listening in class?
Now let's imagine it's a free period. I wouldn't actually mind answering questions then. It also guarantees that the person next to me is more likely someone I actually like (contrast with who I have to sit next to in certain periods).
And seriously some questions can be answered by just shutting the fuck up, like "which one is you?". Usually it's the one that looks different from all the other ones (Y).
The one that always picks up the phone
You must have experienced this when you were watching YouTube on the phone with a bunch of friends, or when you're trying to solve a puzzle (like Jumbline, 7 Little Words, Logos).The owner places it on the table benevolently so the group of people can see (usually 5 or so).
Then somebody decides they don't have a good enough view so they go and grab it and hold it up to their own face for a better view.
This would be fine except for one major flaw. This flaw is that the final result is exactly one person with a good view, and exactly the rest of the people who do not have a view at all.
In puzzle games, the person who mindlessly grabs the phone also tends to be the person who does not solve the puzzle. Causation/correlation? Probably.
In my opinion, the only person who has the right to do such a thing is the person who owns the goddamn phone in the first place.
On an unrelated note,
Also Project Semibreve may never come to fruition because I failed to recognise how much time the freaking Trials took up :L
Unless someone really likes logistics and picks up the slack LOL.
Iono if a stroke of inspiration comes up I might finish up the rhythm section but there's heaps of shit to go =(
twas not meant to be
Okay so this didn't happen at school because school isn't really that hilarious anymore.
Nor is what happened to us "hilarious" as much as "unfortunate", but the Internet is a place full of faggots (not an insult) who find other's miseries enjoyable. So let us proceed.
So we went rock climbing at Castle Towers and nothing bad happened so that's okay.
After that it was Samuel's birthday. So we were like... yes let's celebrate with a round of Baileys (because I have heard nice reviews about it as a recreational drink).
So those with me at this point were Samuel and Tom, and we went to Castle Towers to pick up a bottle of Baileys, have a little, before gifting it to Sammy.
DENIED.
First we walked into a shop near Woolies in Towers. We weren't stupid, we weren't gonna let Tom into a store for the adults. But apparently the dude saw that Tom was walking with us and demanded to check his ID too. We couldn't be bothered BS-ing to get out of it because there's plenty more places to buy liquor.
Apparently not though, because the other shop near Bi-Lo didn't stock Baileys in bottles smaller than 700mL (we were going for the 200mL or perhaps 375). We even took great care to have Tom hang back so people wouldn't suspect us. So slightly battered, we decided we would have to go to Parra Westfield because there were two shops in there.
Okay so we went to the one next to Woolworths in Westfield. But no, we were in our jerseys and the dude refused to serve us on the grounds that we were in our uniforms. I still don't get why this is a rule (if it even applies to school uniforms - I know it applies to police uniform and possibly to military, but school?!?!) but we took it like men and left.
Our LAST HOPE was the one near Coles. We had been rejected 3 times but still we do not falter. We wanted goddamn Baileys on Samuel's birthday, and we will not take no for an answer. So I took off my jersey (I was wearing a normal shirt underneath, the one Brian gave me (thanks :P)), and we headed towards our last glimmer of hope.
I went by myself, not allowing Samuel or Tom to be seen. This is bloody foolproof. There is no way they can reject me.
Oh fucking jokes it's closed.
Let us recap.
1) Saw Tom and refused to serve us if we were with minors.
2) Did not have an acceptable size of Baileys.
3) Refused to serve us in school uniform (?!?!).
4) Closed.
We figured that I could just go back into the 3rd store and try to make the purchase, but we decided against it. We could not take a fifth rejection. If they didn't have Baileys, or refused on the grounds I USED to be in school uniform, then GG zero ego left.
Okay lets cut out losses and go to the food court, eat some Maccas, and head on home. We'd been kicked down, had sand kicked into our eyes, and been spat on. It was time to call it quits. So we head up to the level 5 food court, where Maccas remains the only store with lights on.
I was fancying myself one of those deluxe chicken burgers or whatever the hell they sell.
"Sorry we're closed now."
ALRIGHT. I GET IT. THE GODS DID NOT WANT US IN HERE. FUCKING HELL. OKAY WE'LL LEAVE.
So from level 5 we took a series of escalators/travelators all the way down to level 1 so we can get to the interchange and sulk at home.
Oh but the barriers were up. That's great we only have to go to level 5 again.
So we took the escalators back up to level 5, walked to the other side, passing by the Woolies liquor shop with temptation on our minds, but again we decided that it was not worth the risk. We made it down to the interchange, where Tom and Samuel decided to go home, but I spotted a Nandos (because I told my parents that I'd eat out and be home by 8) so I didn't have to bus to Carlo Court.
I ate my peri burger with only mild enjoyment.
I swear life just went Poe's law on us. There is no way that such a series of stupid and unfortunate events could've happened in such close succession.
Nor is what happened to us "hilarious" as much as "unfortunate", but the Internet is a place full of faggots (not an insult) who find other's miseries enjoyable. So let us proceed.
So we went rock climbing at Castle Towers and nothing bad happened so that's okay.
After that it was Samuel's birthday. So we were like... yes let's celebrate with a round of Baileys (because I have heard nice reviews about it as a recreational drink).
So those with me at this point were Samuel and Tom, and we went to Castle Towers to pick up a bottle of Baileys, have a little, before gifting it to Sammy.
DENIED.
First we walked into a shop near Woolies in Towers. We weren't stupid, we weren't gonna let Tom into a store for the adults. But apparently the dude saw that Tom was walking with us and demanded to check his ID too. We couldn't be bothered BS-ing to get out of it because there's plenty more places to buy liquor.
Apparently not though, because the other shop near Bi-Lo didn't stock Baileys in bottles smaller than 700mL (we were going for the 200mL or perhaps 375). We even took great care to have Tom hang back so people wouldn't suspect us. So slightly battered, we decided we would have to go to Parra Westfield because there were two shops in there.
Okay so we went to the one next to Woolworths in Westfield. But no, we were in our jerseys and the dude refused to serve us on the grounds that we were in our uniforms. I still don't get why this is a rule (if it even applies to school uniforms - I know it applies to police uniform and possibly to military, but school?!?!) but we took it like men and left.
Our LAST HOPE was the one near Coles. We had been rejected 3 times but still we do not falter. We wanted goddamn Baileys on Samuel's birthday, and we will not take no for an answer. So I took off my jersey (I was wearing a normal shirt underneath, the one Brian gave me (thanks :P)), and we headed towards our last glimmer of hope.
I went by myself, not allowing Samuel or Tom to be seen. This is bloody foolproof. There is no way they can reject me.
Oh fucking jokes it's closed.
Let us recap.
1) Saw Tom and refused to serve us if we were with minors.
2) Did not have an acceptable size of Baileys.
3) Refused to serve us in school uniform (?!?!).
4) Closed.
We figured that I could just go back into the 3rd store and try to make the purchase, but we decided against it. We could not take a fifth rejection. If they didn't have Baileys, or refused on the grounds I USED to be in school uniform, then GG zero ego left.
Okay lets cut out losses and go to the food court, eat some Maccas, and head on home. We'd been kicked down, had sand kicked into our eyes, and been spat on. It was time to call it quits. So we head up to the level 5 food court, where Maccas remains the only store with lights on.
I was fancying myself one of those deluxe chicken burgers or whatever the hell they sell.
"Sorry we're closed now."
ALRIGHT. I GET IT. THE GODS DID NOT WANT US IN HERE. FUCKING HELL. OKAY WE'LL LEAVE.
So from level 5 we took a series of escalators/travelators all the way down to level 1 so we can get to the interchange and sulk at home.
Oh but the barriers were up. That's great we only have to go to level 5 again.
So we took the escalators back up to level 5, walked to the other side, passing by the Woolies liquor shop with temptation on our minds, but again we decided that it was not worth the risk. We made it down to the interchange, where Tom and Samuel decided to go home, but I spotted a Nandos (because I told my parents that I'd eat out and be home by 8) so I didn't have to bus to Carlo Court.
I ate my peri burger with only mild enjoyment.
I swear life just went Poe's law on us. There is no way that such a series of stupid and unfortunate events could've happened in such close succession.
always look on the bright side of life
For all those that read the boring ass pen stuff, I apologise. But at least you have my permission to die.
So here comes the great period of lets do some work but not that much.
You know before trials, we had "3 months till HSC". Then the leadup to trials and the trials itself took a whole goddamn month. So now we only have 2 months left. That's okay that though that still means 1 month to dick around and be sad about English marks.
Today I watched Finding Nemo because I finished my speech and I am actually done with school assessments.
The best part is being free from derpy essay maths and now we can write whatever the hell we like for circle geo!!!!
(Unpublished from yesterday because I thought I had something else to say but I didn't)
So here comes the great period of lets do some work but not that much.
You know before trials, we had "3 months till HSC". Then the leadup to trials and the trials itself took a whole goddamn month. So now we only have 2 months left. That's okay that though that still means 1 month to dick around and be sad about English marks.
Today I watched Finding Nemo because I finished my speech and I am actually done with school assessments.
The best part is being free from derpy essay maths and now we can write whatever the hell we like for circle geo!!!!
(Unpublished from yesterday because I thought I had something else to say but I didn't)
how to change your pen grip
Firstly allow me to reaffirm the advantages of holding the pen properly
Here's how to form the tripod grip:
1) The pen should rest on your middle finger. This is on the fingertip side of your last knuckle. Hence, it should be crossing the middle finger about where your fingernail joins the rest of the finger. Obviously this is not set in stone, and it should just be wherever the pen tends to rest if you hold it as I've shown.
The back end of the pen lies in the crook of where your thumb and forefinger joins. If you were to make a pistol V with your fingers and let your pen roll down, that should be where it lands.
The pen is bridging the gap between the valley between your thumb and forefinger, and the little finger-groove in your middle finger.
2) The forefinger will come straight down onto the pen. It will be slightly on the outside (as in, about 120 degrees from where your middle finger and the pen are touching). It should be mainly with the tip of your forefinger. You see how the little bump in the middle of your fingerprint separates the pad into two slopes? Well the slope that is closer to the tip of the finger should lie flat on the pen in the position I described.
While this appears to follow the rule of where the pen is place inside your hand, it is definitely not relaxed and within a few minutes your palms will be bloody destroyed. See how the last joint in the forefinger is hyperflexed, and also the first joint in the forefinger is bent almost as far as it will go. If you were to completely relax the muscles within that pen grip then it's quite likely you'll end up with the proper one.
Okay so how do we write?
4) The main writing motion is coming from your forefinger. The middle finger is being carried along by motion of the pen. The thumb rarely pushes by contracting muscles, it just acts as a spring to bring the pen back to neutral position. The pen does not slide relative to any finger. It rolls slightly along its longitudinal axis. This DOESN'T mean that you are grabbing the pen, you are holding it. The pen is 35 degrees off the paper (yes I freaking measured for you). As for where the pinky and ring finger go, I've seen 2 different configurations, both of which seem very viable.
This is how I personally hold it. The pinky is lightly pressed into my palm, and the ring finger is hanging pretty loose and lightly brushes against my palm as my hand moves to write. I put the weight of the hand on the first knuckle of the pinky, and on the bulgy part of the blade of my hand. The knuckle where the pinky joins the palm also rests slightly on the paper but there's no real pressure. This is pretty much two points of contact with the paper and it's quite light and reduces friction for me.
This one has the pinky on the outside, the ring finger stacked on top of it, and then the middle finger resting on the ring finger. This one (I think) shifts the weight to the first knuckle on the first finger, and the bulge where the wrist joins with your palm.
1) Change your pen.
While this may seem strange, I don't think I could've done it quickly if I didn't change my pen. Well to be honest I didn't change my pen, I added a squishy grip to it. But the fact is you have to change how your writing implement feels, for the duration of your conversion period.
Why is this? It's because every time you pick up the pen it feels slightly unfamiliar. And each time you go "wtf this is a pen" you will also realise "wtf I'm holding it wrong" and FORCE YOURSELF TO CHANGE TO THE CORRECT GRIP.
2) Practise holding your pen
Pick up your pen, practise getting the right finger positioning, then drop it and do it again. Burn that shit into muscle memory!
3) Write
There's no real easy way out. You have to break yourself into the muscle memory, and this is done by surprise surprise, writing. It takes a while to get used to the fact you have to press lightly.
Do not expect instant results. You will of course write slower with this grip, initially. I promise you if you use this grip for a total of somewhere between 2-5 hours you will regain your previous speed, if not faster.
Then you forget how the hell you held the pen before. I just tried to grab my pen the way I used to (I remember I used to cover my forefinger with the tip of my thumb) but it feels retarded. The range of motion is so limited and I derno how I managed to write like that before.
After that you are truly in the club of the tripod grip, no pain writing. Enjoy!
- Potentially more pen control
- Write at the same, or faster speed, with less fatigue. Hence you can keep up the same speed for 2h if you want.
- Following on, it is possible to be relaxed when writing. This means it's gonna be really hard to cramp up or build up that burning sensation.
- The table is less likely to shake when you write.
- Press lighter and save more ink!!
- It takes 2-3 weeks and yes you will have to write more in order to change it.
I will cover
- What is the correct pen grip
- How to force yourself to change the pen grip
- How to know when you're converted
By the way I am not asserting that my handwriting is the pinnacle of success, but it's legible (except to the special 1%) and since I've converted I have never walked out of the exam room clutching/shaking/otherwise nursing my wrist. I also recommend reading the whole post first before trying to undergo the miraculous change into handwriting freedom.
I'm quite sure what I do is pretty much the correct tripod grip but I can't be 100% sure so correct me if I'm wrong. All I know is that it works well enough for me. I will now go into a really indepth explanation of how it sits in your hand because it took me a goddamn long time to match what it looks like in the pictures because I didn't know how it was meant to feel. Btw if the explanation is not clear enough for a certain part of the hand, please ask (Y). Clickity for larger photos.
The back end of the pen lies in the crook of where your thumb and forefinger joins. If you were to make a pistol V with your fingers and let your pen roll down, that should be where it lands.
The pen is bridging the gap between the valley between your thumb and forefinger, and the little finger-groove in your middle finger.
3) Close the grip with your thumb. This should be on the tip-side of the slope on your thumb as well. All together, you should have three contact points, evenly distributed (120 degrees each) around the circumference of the pen. Everything in your hand should be very relaxed right now. If you were to measure all your joints, they would form obtuse angles. There should be absolutely zero tension in your hand right now. Like if someone told you to relax your hand the pen should not move at all. Allow me to show you an undesirable hand position now.
Okay so how do we write?
How to force yourself to change the pen grip
Okay so I did it in like 3 easy steps or some shit. Call 0422-XXX-XXX for your free trial now, etc ec.1) Change your pen.
While this may seem strange, I don't think I could've done it quickly if I didn't change my pen. Well to be honest I didn't change my pen, I added a squishy grip to it. But the fact is you have to change how your writing implement feels, for the duration of your conversion period.
Why is this? It's because every time you pick up the pen it feels slightly unfamiliar. And each time you go "wtf this is a pen" you will also realise "wtf I'm holding it wrong" and FORCE YOURSELF TO CHANGE TO THE CORRECT GRIP.
2) Practise holding your pen
Pick up your pen, practise getting the right finger positioning, then drop it and do it again. Burn that shit into muscle memory!
3) Write
There's no real easy way out. You have to break yourself into the muscle memory, and this is done by surprise surprise, writing. It takes a while to get used to the fact you have to press lightly.
Do not expect instant results. You will of course write slower with this grip, initially. I promise you if you use this grip for a total of somewhere between 2-5 hours you will regain your previous speed, if not faster.
How to know when you're converted
There comes a time when you will pick up the pen into the tripod grip without thinking about it. That's the first step.Then you forget how the hell you held the pen before. I just tried to grab my pen the way I used to (I remember I used to cover my forefinger with the tip of my thumb) but it feels retarded. The range of motion is so limited and I derno how I managed to write like that before.
After that you are truly in the club of the tripod grip, no pain writing. Enjoy!
chillax
Howsup all
Today I make my reappearance.
Yesterday we celebrated by watching The Dark Knight Rises (spoiler: Hermione dies. But seriously, how good was Anne Hathaway's condescending look!!). Then we played pool in #YOLO style. You know I've never used a hashtag before in my life because I came to the not-so-shocking realisation that nobody apart from people I know in real life actually give a fuck what I want to say about whatever is #trending.
Oh and today morning I watched several episodes of QI, then I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's (ladies, contain your orgasms). After that I set out with the intention of doing Mod C but ended up doing ??? instead until dinner.
Anyways today (Friday) I went to Officeworks to a) find a new desk and b) go find some of those hyped up pens and compare it all to my beloved BIC Ultra Round Stic Grip. I shall do some comparisons and you shall enjoy them. Then you have my permission to die.
The pen is a ballpoint pen with "normal" ink, as in it does not have gel ink. Personally I prefer this normal ink because gel ink makes it feel slippery, not smooth. It's like the difference between a newly resurfaced road, and a icy road. One is jizz and one is "oh bollocks".
It is a very smooth pen compared to any other "normal" pen (as in those that are worth less than $1 each pen), but still retains enough resistance so that it doesn't fly everywhere about the paper. Hence, it needs a bit more pressure than the other pens (but not as much as pens like Bic Cristal).
Another downside is that it's a thin pen. Thin pens are pretty much impossible to hold properly. This is why I bought a squishy grip thing (brand Fooshy I think), which go for like 10 for $2, so a solid investment if you don't like how thin your pen feels.
Aesthetically it's not a very impressive pen - it looks about how much it costs. The plastic can be described as "flimsy" in that it's very light (not that it'll bend in your hand). I personally don't mind a light pen but I know some that may.
Unfortunately these are getting difficult to find in Australia for some reason.
The inkflow is less consistent than the other pens - I find this allows me to control the density(? whatever word to mean how dark the line is) of my strokes better when I feel like it, but I really cannot be bothered doing about 70% of the time. So in exams my writing just goes to shit but whatever.
So here's the same stuff with the squishy grip installed:
This pen is great and deserves the praises sung for it.
It is closest of all the pens I have ever tried to being truly frictionless. The ink that comes out isn't really gel, it's still normal ink. It requires almost no pressure at all - the weight of the pen on the paper is (almost) enough to draw out a consistent line of ink. It is the only pen out of the three that will make a mark when grabbed by the other end, and the tip dragged across the paper under its own weight. This is slightly invalid though because the InkJoy weighs considerably more but whatever.
This is NOT recommended for heavy pressers - the inkflow turns fugly and it's pretty hard to control the pen (I'm not a heavy presser but I tried and it goes balls wonky with the InkJoy). I think hard pressers need just a little bit of resistance to keep everything in check. Like a moderator in a nuclear reactor.
The pen grip is on the thin side though. Not as thin as the naked Ultra Round Stic Grip, but also not thin enough to get a squishy grip on. I find it comfortable to hold with the tripod grip (not properly depicted in the InkJoy picture because I think I was having trouble pressing iPhone's camera with one hand. All the other pen pics show a pretty good tripod grip), so it's not uncomfortably thin. It's like a "plus size model" who is skinnier than average girls but less skinny than the really fucked up bones and skin ones.
It's a really solid feeling pen, and the weight is... nice I guess. It's like how the weight of blankets on you help you sleep at night LOL. It's a weight that you can feel but it's quite comfortable and quite natural.
It's also quite a sleek looking pen. In both pictures I managed to chop off the clicker but that's made of a metal with a chrome finish too. It's an elegant design.
However, the ink flow may be a little TOO smooth for day to day writing. It might save you a bit of energy in the English exams but the lack of friction might send your writing to crapland.
A birdie told me that on Instagram people also said the Uni Jetstream was good, so I snapped one up as well. Because I don't use Instagram because I can't be fucked sharing photos :L
It's got an ink more similar to the consistency of gel. Now as gel pen users (the more astute ones at least) would notice, when you lift the pressure off the page slightly between letters, there could be a slight smudging or a trail thing because of the increased viscosity of the ink. I don't like this, but as I will mention later, this will not be a problem for hard pressers.
It is a very smooth inkflow though, and has a decent amount of resistance that I think would suit hard pressers. I'm personally a relatively light presser and I find the level of friction between the paper and the pen, contrasted with the uber easy flow of the ink, disconcerting for my lighter strokes.
This is the thickest of all the pens and is only a little bit smaller in diameter than the squishy grip on my BIC. Hence its very easy to grab and nobody should have any trouble forming the tripod grip with this.
It's a more futuristic looking pen than the other two, so it's good if you're shallow like that. Despite how it looks, it's still pretty damn light (not as light as the Round Stic Grip though), but definitely much lighter than the InkJoy.
Judging by its price and it's very debatable advantage over Inkjoy, I wouldn't really recommend you go buy this.
A tout le monde (I hope that means what I think it means)
In summary,
The BIC is a cap pen, while the InkJoy and Jetstream are click retractable pens.
The InkJoy is great for light pressers who also take the time to form the letters properly. The Ultra Round Stic Grip is good for medium to heavy pressers, The Jetstream is good for heavy pressers but costs a dicktonne and it's probably not worth it.
The lightest by weight is the Ultra Round Stic Grip, then Jetstream, then InkJoy. The list in decreasing amont of friction is in the same order.
The Ultra Round Stic Grip is dirt cheap, the InkJoy is getting pretty expensive but affordable, and Jetstream is a little ridiculous.
Personally I think I will stay with the Round Stic Grip for the HSC because I feel that my writing style is most suited to it.
For others I would definitely recommend the InkJoy, because learning how to hold your pen properly so that you don't press so hard you can see the imprint of your essay 5 pages later is key to not getting tired over the 2 hours of English.
I managed to change the way I hold my pen in about 2-3 weeks sometime in year 11, to the proper tripod grip and it has worked wonders. I don't feel any strain in my hand or wrist at all over the 2h of English spam, nor does it hurt after. This is a combination of pen ergonomics and the fact that I handwrite my practise essays.
Perhaps in the next post I shall detail how the tripod grip works, and also how I managed to get myself to change. Also I'll address the often poorly tackled issues of nosebleeds and hiccups.
Today I make my reappearance.
Yesterday we celebrated by watching The Dark Knight Rises (spoiler: Hermione dies. But seriously, how good was Anne Hathaway's condescending look!!). Then we played pool in #YOLO style. You know I've never used a hashtag before in my life because I came to the not-so-shocking realisation that nobody apart from people I know in real life actually give a fuck what I want to say about whatever is #trending.
Oh and today morning I watched several episodes of QI, then I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's (ladies, contain your orgasms). After that I set out with the intention of doing Mod C but ended up doing ??? instead until dinner.
Anyways today (Friday) I went to Officeworks to a) find a new desk and b) go find some of those hyped up pens and compare it all to my beloved BIC Ultra Round Stic Grip. I shall do some comparisons and you shall enjoy them. Then you have my permission to die.
Choosing a pen for HSC
BIC Ultra Round Stic Grip
Price: I bought them pack of 8 for $1 (12.5c each) on clearance, now they're retailing for between $2-3 I didn't check (25-37.5c each).
It is a very smooth pen compared to any other "normal" pen (as in those that are worth less than $1 each pen), but still retains enough resistance so that it doesn't fly everywhere about the paper. Hence, it needs a bit more pressure than the other pens (but not as much as pens like Bic Cristal).
Another downside is that it's a thin pen. Thin pens are pretty much impossible to hold properly. This is why I bought a squishy grip thing (brand Fooshy I think), which go for like 10 for $2, so a solid investment if you don't like how thin your pen feels.
Aesthetically it's not a very impressive pen - it looks about how much it costs. The plastic can be described as "flimsy" in that it's very light (not that it'll bend in your hand). I personally don't mind a light pen but I know some that may.
Unfortunately these are getting difficult to find in Australia for some reason.
So here's the same stuff with the squishy grip installed:
Papermate InkJoy (700RT 1.0M)
Price: Pack of 2 for $4.71 from Officeworks ($2.36 each).
It is closest of all the pens I have ever tried to being truly frictionless. The ink that comes out isn't really gel, it's still normal ink. It requires almost no pressure at all - the weight of the pen on the paper is (almost) enough to draw out a consistent line of ink. It is the only pen out of the three that will make a mark when grabbed by the other end, and the tip dragged across the paper under its own weight. This is slightly invalid though because the InkJoy weighs considerably more but whatever.
This is NOT recommended for heavy pressers - the inkflow turns fugly and it's pretty hard to control the pen (I'm not a heavy presser but I tried and it goes balls wonky with the InkJoy). I think hard pressers need just a little bit of resistance to keep everything in check. Like a moderator in a nuclear reactor.
The pen grip is on the thin side though. Not as thin as the naked Ultra Round Stic Grip, but also not thin enough to get a squishy grip on. I find it comfortable to hold with the tripod grip (not properly depicted in the InkJoy picture because I think I was having trouble pressing iPhone's camera with one hand. All the other pen pics show a pretty good tripod grip), so it's not uncomfortably thin. It's like a "plus size model" who is skinnier than average girls but less skinny than the really fucked up bones and skin ones.
It's also quite a sleek looking pen. In both pictures I managed to chop off the clicker but that's made of a metal with a chrome finish too. It's an elegant design.
However, the ink flow may be a little TOO smooth for day to day writing. It might save you a bit of energy in the English exams but the lack of friction might send your writing to crapland.
Uni Jetstream
Price: Pack of 4 for $15.59 ($3.90 each). That's fucking twice the price of InkJoy.
It's got an ink more similar to the consistency of gel. Now as gel pen users (the more astute ones at least) would notice, when you lift the pressure off the page slightly between letters, there could be a slight smudging or a trail thing because of the increased viscosity of the ink. I don't like this, but as I will mention later, this will not be a problem for hard pressers.
It is a very smooth inkflow though, and has a decent amount of resistance that I think would suit hard pressers. I'm personally a relatively light presser and I find the level of friction between the paper and the pen, contrasted with the uber easy flow of the ink, disconcerting for my lighter strokes.
This is the thickest of all the pens and is only a little bit smaller in diameter than the squishy grip on my BIC. Hence its very easy to grab and nobody should have any trouble forming the tripod grip with this.
Judging by its price and it's very debatable advantage over Inkjoy, I wouldn't really recommend you go buy this.
A tout le monde (I hope that means what I think it means)
The BIC is a cap pen, while the InkJoy and Jetstream are click retractable pens.
The InkJoy is great for light pressers who also take the time to form the letters properly. The Ultra Round Stic Grip is good for medium to heavy pressers, The Jetstream is good for heavy pressers but costs a dicktonne and it's probably not worth it.
The lightest by weight is the Ultra Round Stic Grip, then Jetstream, then InkJoy. The list in decreasing amont of friction is in the same order.
The Ultra Round Stic Grip is dirt cheap, the InkJoy is getting pretty expensive but affordable, and Jetstream is a little ridiculous.
Personally I think I will stay with the Round Stic Grip for the HSC because I feel that my writing style is most suited to it.
For others I would definitely recommend the InkJoy, because learning how to hold your pen properly so that you don't press so hard you can see the imprint of your essay 5 pages later is key to not getting tired over the 2 hours of English.
I managed to change the way I hold my pen in about 2-3 weeks sometime in year 11, to the proper tripod grip and it has worked wonders. I don't feel any strain in my hand or wrist at all over the 2h of English spam, nor does it hurt after. This is a combination of pen ergonomics and the fact that I handwrite my practise essays.
Vaish Mahen says (11:05 PM)
HAHAHA YOU SOUND LIKE AN AD
I MANAGED TO CHANGE MY PEN GRIP IN TWO WEEKS ONLY AND IVE NEVER LOOKED BACK
ITS GREAT
I FEEL MORE ENERGETIC
I GET OUT OF THE HOUSE MORE
ALL MY FRIENDS ARE ENVIOUS
Perhaps in the next post I shall detail how the tripod grip works, and also how I managed to get myself to change. Also I'll address the often poorly tackled issues of nosebleeds and hiccups.
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